If God be God..

So plenty of times last year, I kept saying to my mum how I was not sure about doing my post-grad because of my perception of how hard it would be. I would constantly be whining and complaining about it  - how hard the work is likely to be and how I probably wouldn't be able to manage the pressure along with whether I would be able to keep up or even have a decent grade at the end of it all... yea, you probably get my drift. Most of the time my mother would give me an encouraging response on how smart I was (thanks mummy!), how other people had gone through it and succeeded therefore it was obviously not an insurmountable task.

This silenced me for  a number of weeks but I was always coming back to her with the same nagging questions of worry... What if I couldn't do it? Finally, taking her eyes of the road, she turned and looked at me straight in the eye and said: "Angela, If God be God then how can it be that you question His ability to guide and carry you through what is just another phase in your life?  Has His word not been clear, true and sure in the past?" (paraphrased).

This line 'If God be God...' has stuck with me for sometime now. I'm on the threshold of my post-grad studies and I do not have an inkling of worry or doubt about whether I will make it because I have digested this truth.

 However, I am reminded of this saying in different scenarios, when something 'different' or challenging comes up or when I'm talking to someone who's battling with walking in faith in one area or the other. It has been my experience that the mind comes up with endless reasons why lots of things should and will not work out - but it takes a faith-in-God-filled mind to declare that 'if God be true and all He says be truth, then I will confidently walk in this direction.'

Bottom line is this: If you are walking in the will of God i.e. in obedience to Him (both for the specific situation as well as your life in general) there are countless promises He has made to you that you need to walk in (or remind yourself of): 

*"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

*"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."- Philippians 4:13

*"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."- Deuteronomy 31:6

*"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." - 2nd Timothy 1:7

*For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." - Isaiah 41:13

So let me reiterate that wise counsel: If God be God,  If He is true then quit doubting, quit compaining and living in fear. He said He'd do it, made promises to carry you through and bes believe - HE's gonna fulfil every last one of them.

Tell somebody (pronounce ‘sum-badi’!)

I don’t know about you but so many times I have gotten encouragement just from people telling their stories or sharing what they learnt at Church, or in their personal devotion. Similarly, I’ve gotten challenged, encouraged to grow, taught and even rebuked on occasion simply from talking to them about something I’d been thinking about or had learnt in my quiet time or meditation.

It is vital for your growth that you share what you learn with those around you. It could be in a big bold way such as writing a book, blogging, sharing it in your Bible study or prayer group OR something as simple as sharing it with one other person: a friend, colleague, family member, chat buddy – bottom line is: YOU HAVE TO SHARE IT!

Sometimes there are one or two things we misunderstand, miss or find vague until we are engaged in conversation where the other person points out a truth or enlightens us on an angle that clarifies what was previously hanging in the balance.

Often, the word you share might be just what the person ‘needed to hear’ – God could be using you to deliver His word to them and by choosing to keep quiet about it for fear of ‘embarrassment’ ‘ judgement’ or whatever other excuse you come up with for not sharing, you miss out on being a part of God’s work in that person’s life. God’s blessings (His word included) are not meant to stay reservoired (not a real word) but to be channelled through to many others that need it. 

We are blessed to be a blessing, so if that word blessed you…you have a responsibility to pass it on and bless somebody else. 

I choose to love.

1^st Corinthians 13: We all know what that’s on. Love. These verses speak about a love so pure and to be honest, most of the time – a lot of people who claim they have love, or love someone else... fall significantly short of this depiction of love.  So I’m not here to hang this over your head or get you feeling like you can’t do it… On the contrary, I want to share with you how I believe you can begin to practice that love depicted in 1^st Corinthians 13:4-7.

In my previous post, I told you I had lots of stuff to share on choices. Well this too, is a post on choices. Love is a choice. You can really like someone at first glance, maybe even like them a whole lot on spending time with them… and then be obsessed with them (usually mistaken for love) and think you want to spend the rest of your life with them after a while BUT the actual being in love and acting in a loving way consistently  - to your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, friend, family, neighbor etc is a CHOICE. 

What choices do you need to make?

Choice number 1 – Embrace God. He is love. (1^st John 4:7-8). Outside of God, the love you purport to have is not real love and not as intended. Only in God can we be transformed and given the capacity to love in this way and once again I say, consistently. Once you understand the love that God has for you and shows you constantly, you are able to extend that love to others.

Choice number 2 – Make choices aligned to characteristics that embody love. How do we know someone possesses love or is loving?  1^st Corinthians 13:4-7 shows us:

** Patience, Kindness, Free of envy, does not boast, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (vs4-7).

I don’t know about you, but in reading those traits, a lot of the time I say to myself..  ‘I’m mostly kind, I’m not easily angered except with *insert name* because they always…, I’m not self-seeking especially with *insert situation*…’  We pretty much rationalize about the extent we love and then deem it impossible to act in this manner and finally end with ‘Only God can be all of this’ and thus we rarely get round to working on those we identify as ‘weak’ in us.

I put it to you that once you have made choice number1, then the ability to embody these traits has been given to you and the strength to practice them is within your reach if you will only make choices that enhance these being manifest in your life. Ok, what am I saying?

God is love. God embodies all these traits. If you are in God, you have Him (LOVE) in you and therefore, you displaying these traits should come naturally. However, since our nature is to act selfishly, we need to consciously decide to act in love. 

Make the choice every day, in every situation:  to be patient, to be kind… choose not to be envious or rude, seek the benefit of others…

Remember:
 "Your life is a product of your choices" - Steven Covey


"Do everything in love." - 1st Corinthians 16:14

Make the choice today. Choose to live out love. 

Choices (part 1)

So the topic of choices has been on my heart for sometime now - and when I heard this poem in church this morning, I knew I simply had to share it with you. I will be putting up a number of posts on choices because they are so critical in every sphere of your life. Choices have consequences and these have bearings sometimes in the present but more so in the long-term, consequences we can't usually foresee, both in this life and eternity. 

Make the right choices today - make choices that will bring about the change you want to see in your life. 

CHANGE BEGINS WITH CHOICE by Jim Rohn

Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

To Your Success, 

Jim Rohn

It is well with my soul.

I sent this email to my boyfriend last night - just had to share it on the blog. It's the small simple things that define, redefine and keep us challenged and growing on this walk with God. Sharing our experiences (that may seem trivial to everyone else but that are really life and death to you - even for a split second!) is of uttermost importance. So this post is one of those... I had a momentary loss of focus and it completely threw me off - but just one look back at my Rock and Guide and everything's perfect :D

From the time I was like Nelly's age (8) or younger, the day before school started my mum would pray for us and just speak into our lives and our up-coming term and I would always know everything would go well because SHE prayed. She'd encourage us and tell us we will do great etc and I ALWAYS felt peaceful after that. So school started today - Monday - and on Saturday evening I was thinking about this (last) semester and for some reason I kept feeling uneasy - and slightly fearful about it.. And all I desperately wanted was to be at home having my mum tucking me in bed and telling me it was gonna be OK, that  I would do great and pray for me...Anyway when I woke up yesterday (Sunday) morning I asked God to speak to me in the (Church) service and let me know He had my back... To confirm to me that the peace I felt after my mum used to pray was not based on HER being the one who was doing the praying... But rather the fact that HE was the One giving me the peace... During the service we sang one of my favourite hymns - "It is well" and at that moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that He was saying it to me. No questions asked - I knew at that exact moment the semester would be perfect. That He would guide and keep me and make sure I do great... And I just had this excitement overwhelm me at that point And crazy peace just came over me...

Funny thing though is now fast-forward to the evening (Sunday) where I started to feel like I needed to hear from my mum again.. To have her say what I thought I HAD to hear for me to be peaceful, OK and great...So there I was, on the phone with her in no time. But the phone call didn't go as I hoped.. and 'sorta felt disappointed' is an understatement... My mum as well as dearest Nelly quoted a nice verse for me though.. 1st Thessalonians 5:16-18 and asked me to be encouraged and I appreciated it but... *sigh* ... didn't really feel it... And after that - I just wanted to burst into tears because I wasn't getting what (I thought) I needed. 

So down and all, frustrated and really just scared frightened worried anxious for Monday, I'm busy packing my school stuff and getting the place organized when I randomly start going through my phone and I see my BBM status from earlier... 'It is well with my soul'...and at that moment I begin to just laugh at myself... It all came to me in some eureka epiphany!! 

God had ALREADY given me the answer, the peace, the assurance that it is all gonna be great and here I was already panicking - because I'm so stuck on routine.. Here I am, taking my eyes off Him (like Peter walkin on water and starting to drown) and then going into distress, panic etc. Now don't get me wrong here - it's AMAZING to have people cheer you on... encourage you.. speak great things into your life and all BUT do not get so hooked to those voices that you forget WHO the actual giver of peace, success, motivation, victory (and all the good stuff) actually is. It's not about THEM... it's about Him and how what you're doing fits into His grand scheme of things. 

U live, you learn, you grow.

God is amazing.. I'm excited for the semester coz He says it will be a grand one ;)

3years later, HE is my only constant.

This morning I woke up to two thoughts. OK, just one of them.. The second one was on a friend’s facebook status but fuelled my thoughts so. Sssshhh.

Quote 1: There’s nothing certain in this world but death and taxes – Benjamin Franklin.

Quote 2: The only constant is change – François de la Rochefoucauld

I don’t usually wake up super serious and on this deep reflective tip, I promise. Usually it’s an ”oh gosh, it’s morning already...” Or “ooh yay – another day!” but I digress. I’ll make my point later in this post.

3years ago, on a cold June evening…7.45pm to be precise...I gave birth to a little big (intentional) baby – Yeshua William, who was a whopping 3.8kgs! I remember hearing him cry, then giving out a sigh of relief. I turned to my mother and said “I’m alive mum, I’m alive!” My younger sister, Joan, then burst into the room – anxious excited to see her new nephew.

Yeshua taking a bath at 1month

As I lay back trying to process all that had just taken place, oblivious of the ooh-ing and aah-ing that was going on around me… I had just one thought. My life is over.

How was I going to do this? How was I going to be able to walk around under the judgmental, eyes I was sure to encounter? The gossipers would have a field day! How would I respond to the questions of how? And why? And.. and…and… *tears*

My dad and Yeshua at 1 month, 12 days :)

I was very far from God at this point in my life. I was so disconnected from everything to do with Him because I knew I had disappointed Him really bad and I couldn’t go to Church either. What would they have to say? Ah, I had been part of the Christian circles way too long to know what the ‘encouraging sister and well meaning brother’ would be ‘discussing as a prayer issue later. And then my family – let’s not even go there. Though they were all being extremely and supportive, you could always feel the atmosphere full of questions – how? Why? And my parents wondering how they possibly could have missed this – how did I fall so far and had they failed as parents?

Anyway, without depressing you further… Let me tell you briefly how the next 3 years panned out with me still very sane (chuckles). There were lots of tears, some periods of emptiness and confusion, lots of prayers (from very many people!), words of encouragement, hugs, love etc. But honestly my mother made the most difference. She determined to be a channel for God’s love, light and life to me… And through her I was able to get reconnected to the source of all those things.. His unwavering LOVE, LIGHT to overcome the darkness I was experiencing and LIFE… Sweet, abundant, rich, pure, God-filled Life.

3years on, I proudly declare to the world how happy I am that I have a son who’s happy, healthy and growing so fast it’s scary.

They say time’s a healer… I disagree. Time only gets people off you as the main subject of conversation to the next. But the scars, the heartache, the fear, they are only dulled temporarily. And whenever something new comes up, a question about your decisions feel like an attack on your character, etc– they (fear, heartache etc) are re-awakened and it feels like it al just happened yesterday and all the progress you made, crumbles in an instant.

God has been my healer and my restorer. My best friend. He’s loved me and guided me slowly but surely to the place I’m at currently. Where I can speak with confidence about the past, not to glorify it, but to glorify Him. Where I can be me without caring what anyone else thinks – the only approval I need is His.  I am free, happy, blessed, loved and full of excitement for life. I am me.

Yes, change is constant (they say), death and taxes are certain (they say)… but I have tested and found true – that despite the change, the constant reality of death and the darn Revenue Authorities always digging into our pockets – God has been my Rock. My unchanging Guide, my one and only Constant.

My mummy and Yeshua last month (2 years 10.5months)

Happy birthday Yeshua. I love you from here to forever. <3

Welcoming Bars VS Cold Churches

So today is one of those days I'm not feeling very Christian-y.. Not feeling overly inspired.. Somewhat like a drying up brook (I'm guessing this is how brooks feel-how am I supposed to know? Stop judging :P)

Anyway - in my non- christian-ness (ooh i have an entire dictionary of my own words, just in case you were wondering) I started wondering why people (Christians) rarely share their vulnerabilities..myself included! Never sharing how down we're feeling: how unworthy, undeserving, so lost and just..even sometimes afraid. We, for some reason, always have to be strong, be perfect, have all the answers, keep up the show.. Lest we be deemed not 'good enough' by the same family that's meant to understand God's grace at work in ALL our lives.

A good friend of mine yesterday night raised some valid points about the 'hypocrisy' of Christians. She pointed out how 'welcoming' bars/pubs are as opposed to churches. She noted how, regardless of what you wore to the bar, you'd always feel welcome, have a couple of hellos and people (at least pretending) to care about what's going on in your life. This she contrasted with the instant judgement one feels when you walk into a new church. Eyes glancing up and down your body-pretty clear about how you don't qualify to be there, based on what you're wearing. The worst, she says, is when you leave the service not having even one person say hello to you...and you make it a point never to return.

As she shared this with me, my heart bled. What use is our salvation if we are bound up (and blinded) by religion? Not able to see past fake smiles, dressing, church attendance, number of hallelujahs, amount of offering, etc. N not just toward the new comer. How genuine are you with your sisters and brothers in Christ? Be willing to be vulnerable, to be weak.. Sometimes your encouragement, breakthrough or simple hug is in a friend, and your sharing will encourage (other) younger believers...to know it's ok to have days like these.. When we feel like the next step could be the one that seals our fate. (Check this song out if you're there now.)

For the truth is.. It's not my feelings, neither is it my good works, nor my 'perfected christianism' that count for my salvation and or christianity. It's all a work of grace-given by God and sustained by Him.

I am weak, but He is my strength. I can not judge another, for I stand by His grace alone. I pray I'm not counted as part of the cold church... Judging, pointing fingers etc instead of smiling, being understanding etc. Take a moment to check yourself CHRISTIAN... Are u encouraging growth? or driving people to oh-so welcoming bars? 

Check this song out.. It's one of my favourites on this topic.

Take off the masks today... N let's change the cold churches into warm, welcoming REAL zones!!