Choices (part 1)

So the topic of choices has been on my heart for sometime now - and when I heard this poem in church this morning, I knew I simply had to share it with you. I will be putting up a number of posts on choices because they are so critical in every sphere of your life. Choices have consequences and these have bearings sometimes in the present but more so in the long-term, consequences we can't usually foresee, both in this life and eternity. 

Make the right choices today - make choices that will bring about the change you want to see in your life. 

CHANGE BEGINS WITH CHOICE by Jim Rohn

Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

To Your Success, 

Jim Rohn

It is well with my soul.

I sent this email to my boyfriend last night - just had to share it on the blog. It's the small simple things that define, redefine and keep us challenged and growing on this walk with God. Sharing our experiences (that may seem trivial to everyone else but that are really life and death to you - even for a split second!) is of uttermost importance. So this post is one of those... I had a momentary loss of focus and it completely threw me off - but just one look back at my Rock and Guide and everything's perfect :D

From the time I was like Nelly's age (8) or younger, the day before school started my mum would pray for us and just speak into our lives and our up-coming term and I would always know everything would go well because SHE prayed. She'd encourage us and tell us we will do great etc and I ALWAYS felt peaceful after that. So school started today - Monday - and on Saturday evening I was thinking about this (last) semester and for some reason I kept feeling uneasy - and slightly fearful about it.. And all I desperately wanted was to be at home having my mum tucking me in bed and telling me it was gonna be OK, that  I would do great and pray for me...Anyway when I woke up yesterday (Sunday) morning I asked God to speak to me in the (Church) service and let me know He had my back... To confirm to me that the peace I felt after my mum used to pray was not based on HER being the one who was doing the praying... But rather the fact that HE was the One giving me the peace... During the service we sang one of my favourite hymns - "It is well" and at that moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that He was saying it to me. No questions asked - I knew at that exact moment the semester would be perfect. That He would guide and keep me and make sure I do great... And I just had this excitement overwhelm me at that point And crazy peace just came over me...

Funny thing though is now fast-forward to the evening (Sunday) where I started to feel like I needed to hear from my mum again.. To have her say what I thought I HAD to hear for me to be peaceful, OK and great...So there I was, on the phone with her in no time. But the phone call didn't go as I hoped.. and 'sorta felt disappointed' is an understatement... My mum as well as dearest Nelly quoted a nice verse for me though.. 1st Thessalonians 5:16-18 and asked me to be encouraged and I appreciated it but... *sigh* ... didn't really feel it... And after that - I just wanted to burst into tears because I wasn't getting what (I thought) I needed. 

So down and all, frustrated and really just scared frightened worried anxious for Monday, I'm busy packing my school stuff and getting the place organized when I randomly start going through my phone and I see my BBM status from earlier... 'It is well with my soul'...and at that moment I begin to just laugh at myself... It all came to me in some eureka epiphany!! 

God had ALREADY given me the answer, the peace, the assurance that it is all gonna be great and here I was already panicking - because I'm so stuck on routine.. Here I am, taking my eyes off Him (like Peter walkin on water and starting to drown) and then going into distress, panic etc. Now don't get me wrong here - it's AMAZING to have people cheer you on... encourage you.. speak great things into your life and all BUT do not get so hooked to those voices that you forget WHO the actual giver of peace, success, motivation, victory (and all the good stuff) actually is. It's not about THEM... it's about Him and how what you're doing fits into His grand scheme of things. 

U live, you learn, you grow.

God is amazing.. I'm excited for the semester coz He says it will be a grand one ;)

3years later, HE is my only constant.

This morning I woke up to two thoughts. OK, just one of them.. The second one was on a friend’s facebook status but fuelled my thoughts so. Sssshhh.

Quote 1: There’s nothing certain in this world but death and taxes – Benjamin Franklin.

Quote 2: The only constant is change – François de la Rochefoucauld

I don’t usually wake up super serious and on this deep reflective tip, I promise. Usually it’s an ”oh gosh, it’s morning already...” Or “ooh yay – another day!” but I digress. I’ll make my point later in this post.

3years ago, on a cold June evening…7.45pm to be precise...I gave birth to a little big (intentional) baby – Yeshua William, who was a whopping 3.8kgs! I remember hearing him cry, then giving out a sigh of relief. I turned to my mother and said “I’m alive mum, I’m alive!” My younger sister, Joan, then burst into the room – anxious excited to see her new nephew.

Yeshua taking a bath at 1month

As I lay back trying to process all that had just taken place, oblivious of the ooh-ing and aah-ing that was going on around me… I had just one thought. My life is over.

How was I going to do this? How was I going to be able to walk around under the judgmental, eyes I was sure to encounter? The gossipers would have a field day! How would I respond to the questions of how? And why? And.. and…and… *tears*

My dad and Yeshua at 1 month, 12 days :)

I was very far from God at this point in my life. I was so disconnected from everything to do with Him because I knew I had disappointed Him really bad and I couldn’t go to Church either. What would they have to say? Ah, I had been part of the Christian circles way too long to know what the ‘encouraging sister and well meaning brother’ would be ‘discussing as a prayer issue later. And then my family – let’s not even go there. Though they were all being extremely and supportive, you could always feel the atmosphere full of questions – how? Why? And my parents wondering how they possibly could have missed this – how did I fall so far and had they failed as parents?

Anyway, without depressing you further… Let me tell you briefly how the next 3 years panned out with me still very sane (chuckles). There were lots of tears, some periods of emptiness and confusion, lots of prayers (from very many people!), words of encouragement, hugs, love etc. But honestly my mother made the most difference. She determined to be a channel for God’s love, light and life to me… And through her I was able to get reconnected to the source of all those things.. His unwavering LOVE, LIGHT to overcome the darkness I was experiencing and LIFE… Sweet, abundant, rich, pure, God-filled Life.

3years on, I proudly declare to the world how happy I am that I have a son who’s happy, healthy and growing so fast it’s scary.

They say time’s a healer… I disagree. Time only gets people off you as the main subject of conversation to the next. But the scars, the heartache, the fear, they are only dulled temporarily. And whenever something new comes up, a question about your decisions feel like an attack on your character, etc– they (fear, heartache etc) are re-awakened and it feels like it al just happened yesterday and all the progress you made, crumbles in an instant.

God has been my healer and my restorer. My best friend. He’s loved me and guided me slowly but surely to the place I’m at currently. Where I can speak with confidence about the past, not to glorify it, but to glorify Him. Where I can be me without caring what anyone else thinks – the only approval I need is His.  I am free, happy, blessed, loved and full of excitement for life. I am me.

Yes, change is constant (they say), death and taxes are certain (they say)… but I have tested and found true – that despite the change, the constant reality of death and the darn Revenue Authorities always digging into our pockets – God has been my Rock. My unchanging Guide, my one and only Constant.

My mummy and Yeshua last month (2 years 10.5months)

Happy birthday Yeshua. I love you from here to forever. <3

Welcoming Bars VS Cold Churches

So today is one of those days I'm not feeling very Christian-y.. Not feeling overly inspired.. Somewhat like a drying up brook (I'm guessing this is how brooks feel-how am I supposed to know? Stop judging :P)

Anyway - in my non- christian-ness (ooh i have an entire dictionary of my own words, just in case you were wondering) I started wondering why people (Christians) rarely share their vulnerabilities..myself included! Never sharing how down we're feeling: how unworthy, undeserving, so lost and just..even sometimes afraid. We, for some reason, always have to be strong, be perfect, have all the answers, keep up the show.. Lest we be deemed not 'good enough' by the same family that's meant to understand God's grace at work in ALL our lives.

A good friend of mine yesterday night raised some valid points about the 'hypocrisy' of Christians. She pointed out how 'welcoming' bars/pubs are as opposed to churches. She noted how, regardless of what you wore to the bar, you'd always feel welcome, have a couple of hellos and people (at least pretending) to care about what's going on in your life. This she contrasted with the instant judgement one feels when you walk into a new church. Eyes glancing up and down your body-pretty clear about how you don't qualify to be there, based on what you're wearing. The worst, she says, is when you leave the service not having even one person say hello to you...and you make it a point never to return.

As she shared this with me, my heart bled. What use is our salvation if we are bound up (and blinded) by religion? Not able to see past fake smiles, dressing, church attendance, number of hallelujahs, amount of offering, etc. N not just toward the new comer. How genuine are you with your sisters and brothers in Christ? Be willing to be vulnerable, to be weak.. Sometimes your encouragement, breakthrough or simple hug is in a friend, and your sharing will encourage (other) younger believers...to know it's ok to have days like these.. When we feel like the next step could be the one that seals our fate. (Check this song out if you're there now.)

For the truth is.. It's not my feelings, neither is it my good works, nor my 'perfected christianism' that count for my salvation and or christianity. It's all a work of grace-given by God and sustained by Him.

I am weak, but He is my strength. I can not judge another, for I stand by His grace alone. I pray I'm not counted as part of the cold church... Judging, pointing fingers etc instead of smiling, being understanding etc. Take a moment to check yourself CHRISTIAN... Are u encouraging growth? or driving people to oh-so welcoming bars? 

Check this song out.. It's one of my favourites on this topic.

Take off the masks today... N let's change the cold churches into warm, welcoming REAL zones!! 

His Ways are not my ways..

Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..."

So it has become apparent that God has a totally different plan for this blog.. Starting it, I wanted to share my revelations and inspirations that I came across throughout the day/week..etc. So the first note blog came out of my Quiet time... and I thought aha! Now let's do more intense QT so that we can get deep stuff to share... Well, what do you know 6 months to the next post. Was I not doing QT? I was. Was I not praying enough? Like Elijah I was praying.. So what was the problem??

As is with so many things that are led of God, sometimes we get so excited at the outcome and then convince ourselves that we have learnt His pattern (of working) and then we plug in our 'well' established formula and before you know it, we are producing:

1 +2 = 7 or 3-1 = 77. WRONG, uninspired, human centered stuff.

Listen, I'm not just talking about blogging.. I'm talking about all areas of life. The way He helped you bag that client, or market a product, get through a presentation/assignment - heck something as simple as make new friends. The secret is in Him. Him leading, ordaining your path, giving you specific instruction not at all to do with you - your brilliance, your charisma, your education... zilch!

There ain no way we're going to figure out the  secret formula.. and the sooner we learn that, the quicker we learn.. the more we submit and are able to be used as vessels for His use - remaining relevant as well as bringing about that awesome blog word, sermon, lecture, presentation, report, friendship, relationship... ok you get my drift.

Psalm 128:1 says "Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His Ways.."

(Fear the Lord (revere Him, submit to Him) and walk in HIS very very brilliant (Isaiah 55) ways..)

 That said, my plan for daily blog updates has been negated. I write when He says write.

Because He lives...

One of my favourite Church songs (I’m afraid to call it a hymn... I’m not sure it is.) is entitled “Because He lives”... And the song pretty much talks about what we can do as well as what we are/who we are because of HIM (Jesus, Our Lord, God) being alive… It’s really deep hey.

So this post is not about a song I really like but rather how it just became apparent that the words of our confession need to translate into what we practice and what we are about. So here I am singing, ‘Because He lives... I can face tomorrow...’ Then it hits me (as I’m doing dishes by the way – not the most spiritual of moments!). Ok for this to make sense to you, I have to give you some bit of background, some history…

So I’m a final year student just about to complete my second last semester at varsity. And you know what everyone’s question to me is: “So what do you plan on doing next year?” “What do you wanna do?” “What’s next?” “Honours? Masters? Work?” “And where? South Africa? Do you want to go back home? Perhaps Australia or the UK?” Ok you get the gist. To be completely honest with you – I HAVE NO IDEA! And for some time it was just one of those things I didn’t stress about because I’m the kind of person that knows that “it will eventually come to me.. Or it will be made clear... no need to stress – there’s no hurry” blah blah. Anyway – with the intensity and frequency that these questions started being posed to me, I began to think seriously about what I AM going to do next year, and yup – u guessed right, it started to stress bother me.

Now I’m not one to dwell on negativity and all and so, every time the thought would come to mind, I’d quickly shift my thoughts to something TOTALLY different... More to do with the here and now… I quickly became fearful (even though I was now pretending it didn’t’ bother me… it did). So I have these awesome girlfriends who I meet with at least twice a month – they are also my colleagues and it’s awesome how God just brought us together and has used us  to really minister to each other… Anyway, one of them – Tash, is graduating this semester. And what struck me at our last meeting was how relaxed she was about leaving varsity – not too sure about what awaited her but also not a mess about it. So composed (she normally is anyway) she just coolly replies, “It’s going to be interesting moving back home. It might not necessarily be easy, coz change isn’t easy. But it’s a new phase…” I can’t remember word for word what she said but you get it. It amazed me how she was so calm about it all!!

This evening we had our final meeting (with the rest of our workmates) and she said how she’d miss us (and it was going to be a fountain of tears), but Tash – managed to end off on a very rational note (are we surprised?? J) Anyway this evening, the words to this song really struck a chord with me and I felt it necessary to share it with Tash (still haven’t told her yet, I will) just to encourage her but also it was a serious revelation for me… Digest and confess and BELIEVE this word that you sing.. Make it true. Live it out.

  

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, All fear is gone

Because I know – Who holds my future.

And life is worth living, just because He lives.

So.. I don’t know what next year holds for me, for my friends, for my family (yes, there are many variables).. And no, I don’t know where the road will lead me – or where it will end up. But one thing I do know. My God, Who conquered the grave, Who holds time in His hands, Who is eternal and according to Jeremiah 29:11 has only the best plans for me – HOLDS MY FUTURE – therefore I will face tomorrow, with no fear and I will live in the NOW, rejoicing at the prospect of the future.. Because HE LIVES!!!

Food for the soul..

So I promised to post today but I've been quite sick and so I'm sure the grace can be extended to me to have the posts up this weekend. Yes? Yay - thank you.

This food for the soul title.. It's what I get from my dear friends and their awesome blogs.. Serious truths that everyone needs to hear and APPLY:

Tash - She has some wonderful stuff on life and how you can PRACTICALLY live this relationship we got going with Jesus. Click here to check it out.

Kebone - She's got some intense Woooooorrrrd - Mh, yea.. see for yourselves here

And last but not least.. my girl Jasmine.. Wow, we've both come a long way and it's so amazing her insane passion for God and His stuff.. .radical this one.. check it out here

Hope you enjoy those..

Jesus loves you!!

Ms.  AngieO