The honest truth is that I love hate wonder STRUGGLE with mother's day. I struggle
with genuinely accepting any wishes of celebration over me despite my very
quick and polite 'thank you' smile or grin depending on how enthusiastic the
wish was.
Because the truth is my motherhood journey has been complicated..
Less than easy/straightforward from conception to delivery and right into the
stages of raising a person:
Do I love enough? Am I present enough? Why can't I provide enough? Will I
screw up this child? Oh Lord..help me not screw up my child!!
I'm fumbling.. A day at a time I'm fumbling but by God's grace and
shepherding, I haven't completely dropped the ball (or child in this case).
So 'happy mother's day' to me is one big oxymoron.
What's so happy about a
day when I'm reminded even louder about my inadequacy? My huge list of
not-doings?
Celebrate my kid..let it be 'happy children's day'. Because he sure is a
happy one..
Buuut you didn't know though, so thank you..for thinking of me and sending that
beautiful forward/video/verse/message.
